Another ten days 

Exactly as predicted, perhaps a day early, Isita has entered a trial of misery which will probably last another ten days. She is hardly speaking, indicates her wants with weak gestures, curls on her bed. The most recent word she spoke to me was yesterday when we asked her what number her pain was. ‘Ten’ she whispered. Earlier today, while puking up,  she asked Marta if she was going to die. 

Marta told this to Giuseppe when he came in on the ward round. Sensibly, he said she needed more morphine. The pain team – specialists trained in the matter – have set up a pain pump, which is a highly controlled syringe drive for administering morphine. 

Alongside reassuring her fears and tending to her most basic needs, our main job is to spot the first sign of discomfort and to ask for the dial to be turned up a notch. We are steadily, but rapidly turning that dial. There is further to go. 

At least, when she has enough pain relief she is calm. Dreadful as this all is, it is all expected, and necessary, and will pass. Let it not take a day longer than it has to.

10 thoughts on “Another ten days 

  1. We are on our way to Santiago de Compostela, on a family pilgrimage, bringing to the Apostle all our sick friends. Isita comes with us!


  2. My heart goes out to all 3 of you.
    God go with you, and she will get thru’ this hideous phase. Her strength of character and your guidance will pull her thru’.
    So much love , thoughts and prayers
    Henrietta xx


  3. My darlings,

    Each day you bring her through – that Isita brings herself through – is one day nearer to her being well again.The thing about Isita is that she looks her illness in the eye and won’t buckle even ‘in extremis’. You two are giving her all the tools and GOSH the support to deliver her to her ‘bounce back’. Keep the faith: this will pass.

    May the force be with your valiant daughter, and much, much love to her and to her parents,


  4. Oh, poor Isita! I’m sad to hear that the process is taking the expected toll. She is such a brave and resilient girl with a thousand watt smile and more love and energy than can be contained in that small body. She will prevail and return to herself. The finish line is in sight. She will cross it and she will be back to wrapping everyone around her little finger in no time. I’m sending all the love I can across the pond.


  5. Boy, oh boy. How strong she and you are. Our love goes out to you. Hang in there, as I know you can and will.


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